The majority of foster parents begin thinking about fostering children because they want to help them. They want to take a helpless, abused child into their home and provide the love and attention these children never received at home. They may envision a perfect happy family, with their foster children beaming with joy. Some of them walk into this with high expectations and the belief that with love, they can fix all the child's problems. If only it was that easy...
Most foster children are a bundle of nerves. They do not respond like 'normal' children. Their brains do not always work the way one would think it should. Children with the same abusive background do not all react the same, either. While one child my fly into a blind rage another may completely withdraw. What works for one child may have the opposite effect on another. No matter how prepared a foster parent is, they often find themselves overwhelmed with the challenges they face on a day to day basis.
What this all comes down to is patience, understanding, and a very good therapist. Therapy is a must, but not with some 'quack' who's answer is to pop some pills into the childs mouth and dumb them down to the point that they can't respond. This is no answer, this is drugging. If you are a foster parent, or are considering becoming one, please remember that these children deserve the best life has to offer.
Be patient, study their reactions, be someone they can safely confide in, and provide them with a professional to talk to, who will help them work through their past without throwing a handful of psychotropic drugs at them.
A great site that explains the anxiety problems of foster children is found here.
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